Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
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i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
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How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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