lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
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I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
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Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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