I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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