You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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