Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
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As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
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If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
BRING THE BAGELS
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize