Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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