I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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