I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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