am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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