My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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