The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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