this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize