pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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