i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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