Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize