The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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