You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
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He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
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I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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