I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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