If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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