Just fell off a train. Bad.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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