Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
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The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
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that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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