if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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