Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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