there was a trapeze. enough said
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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