Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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