You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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