come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
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He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
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Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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