guys are only as good as the porn they watch
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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