would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
All I want is dick and wine.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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