i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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