So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize