woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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