Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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