naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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