Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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