I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize