I wanna bring you to show and tell
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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