yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
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Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
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He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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