this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
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Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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