Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize