is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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