First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize