I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
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Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
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he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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