YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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