don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I think people are normalizing furries
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize