you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize