After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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