that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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