I was born with a shot glass in my hand
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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