sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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